Racism

Does racism still exist? Of course it does, it is alive and well, unfortunately. I am not talking about immigration issues, whether this person or that person should be allowed into or to remain in our country. That's a whole different topic from what I am talking about. Please note I didn't say it's not related and I didn't say it's not relevant nor important, just that that's not what I want to talk about today.

I am talking about flat out, my skin is white and yours is not so therefore you are less of a person than I am, racism. It is there. It is one of the most frustrating things to ever exist. There are still KKK out there, plotting how to rid the world of those they feel are inferior to them. How sad.

Just as sad is the fact that as horrible as direct racism is, it is damaging not only in the immediacy of it, but also damages the psyche of those it effects and it carries long term damage. People who have been exposed to racism are hurt by it and their outlook on life is also hurt by it and how they interact with others is affected by both direct and indirect racism.

To be clear, it is no secret I am white. Clear and through as far as I know, I have no black relatives, I grew up in a lily white town and remember it was big news in my senior year when we had a black family move in to town and their two kids joined our school. As an adult I have dated black guys, I was engaged to one. I lived in his world and was introduced to racism first hand both in the general sense and directly as I am sure many are aware of the abuse that can be directed at those who align themselves with targets, so to speak. But no matter what I saw and heard, no matter that I used to live in a "rough" part of town, no matter that I was raised by a cultural anthropologist that taught me to be aware of those who are different from us, embrace their differences and to look with open eyes to be aware of those who hate because of those differences, I am still a white girl and will never be able to fully understand the evils of racism and what it really means to live in the face of extreme racism.

Having said that and getting back to my original point. I find it incredibly sad that there is still enough racism in this country and in the minds of people that a person, either through conditioning brought on by direct exposure to racism or by indirectly being taught about racism, is so conditioned that racism is out there, when slighted for anything, their first inclination is to holler racism.

For example I was shopping at Goodwill a couple of weeks ago. It was approaching closing time and those of us in the store were getting up to the register to check out. There were shelves of smaller items close to the register and two older black ladies, myself and a hispanic woman around my age were all taking turns looking at the stuff on these shelves. The cashier was neatening racks nearby and when she saw us all up there, came up to the register and asked if anyone was ready to check out. The hispanic lady and I said no not yet, the one black lady had wandered off and the other indicated she was waiting for her friend to be ready. So the cashier stood there for a bit, asked again if anyone was ready, got no response and went back to the rack she was working on. As she was walking away, the second black lady came back to the register and, to her friend, said "What, is she not going to wait on us or something?". They continued to complain to each other about the announcement that the store was closing ("I wear a watch, I know what time it is"), that the cashier was not there, etc. One aggressively banged the bell on the counter DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING.

The cashier poked her head out from an aisle and said she would be right there. In the couple of minutes it took her to get up there, they continued to rail about it. When the cashier returned, she was followed closely by the other cashier, a young man. The ladies huffed at each other and one asked the cashier "So are YOU going to ring me up or do you need HIM to do it?" The cashier looked slightly confused and said she thought she could handle it. The first lady put her couple of things on the counter, said she wasn't buying them after all. Her friend did the same thing and as they stomped to the door they chattered to each other about how the cashier was racist and had to go get a man to come protect her from the black people.

After they left we all just looked at each other and the cashier said that in actuality she HAD gone to get him - because there was also a man in the store (that left as the ladies were putting their items on the counter) and the last time that man was in the store he had been harassing the cashier and making lewd comments to her. As she was checking me out, she told the hispanic lady behind me that she was again sorry for having taken the lady's cart away while she was in the restroom. The lady jokingly said that the cashier had only done that because she was hispanic. We all laughed, I gathered my stuff and left as she checked out. As I was getting in my car, the two black ladies were just driving away and one screamed out the window at me "REDNECK RACIST BITCH". Now whether she was talking to me or just at the store itself I can't be sure, if at me why? Because I continued with my purchases? If I had thought the ladies were being discriminated against, I would have joined them in declining my purchases. Was it just because I was there? Because I was white? I don't know but either way it only saddened me further.

I feel so sorry for those ladies that either they have experienced so much racism that it is just expected and the only logical explanation for anything that goes wrong in their day or that they have been raised to believe it regardless of how much racism they have directly experienced (I am a realist enough to believe it highly unlikely that they have NEVER experienced racism).

A woman I know, we will call her Matilda, is extremely racist. Matilda's significant other is even worse. He might be Klan, it wouldn't surprise me a bit, I know he knows Klan members. I know this because about 8 or 9 years ago when him and my mom worked together, my uncle was mugged up in Michigan. The boys who did it were black and this guy asked my mom if she wanted him to hook her up with some Klan members to hunt those boys down. Thankfully he no longer works there (was fired after physically threatening my mom but that's another story) but Matilda and my mom are friends despite her racist attitude. And racist she certainly is. Back when I was dating Frankie, mom hated him. I had never dated a black guy before and her and I both thought that racism was in fact raising it's ugly head in our home. It turned out mom hated him for HIM, not because he was black.

Anyways, at the time Matilda certainly helped fuel mom's hatred of him in many ways and helped her in trying to break us up simply because Matilda believes it is absolutely, 100% morally wrong to date outside your own ethnicity (I personally HATE the word "race" as we are all the human race, I know most people consider it to be correct and whether it is or not, I can't bring myself to use it). I guess whether you believe that or not is 100% the issue as much as WHY you believe it or not. Some people believe in "breeding pure" in order to preserve ethnic blood and values and such. It's not that they think any less of others, it's just a matter of being true to your own people I guess. I can see the logic in that I suppose. I don't necessarily agree with it in the way of telling others what to do but if that's what you believe I can't really fault you for following through on it. That's not Matilda's train of thought though. She honestly, 100% believes that white people are superior and that we should not "lower ourselves" to date anyone else. The very idea of it actually sickens her. That sickens me. That level of hatred for other humans. I just can't comprehend and don't understand.

I think that's what gets me the most, what is at the heart of it. Hatred. Why do we so often need to hate SOMEBODY. So many people just seem to need that and I don't understand it. Perhaps it comes down to self love? Maybe Dan at Single Dad Laughing knows. He hasn't talked about racism specifically but he is all about loving each other and trying to make the world a better place by eliminating hatred and the things hatred feeds. Let's join him, shall we?



*edited to clarify that it is not my mom who is horrifically racist*